Boys Smell

I have a brother. And a father. And a fair share of male relatives. And a boyfriend. Believe me, I know that boys can smell. But for the first time, I’m starting to think that “can” should be replaced with “do”.

I went to girls’ only schools from first grade, and whilst girls have their quirks – they do not smell. Or at least, I don’t remember them smelling. My current class, however… Two thirds of them are boys and they fart away all day long. Now, I know from the experience of growing up alongside my brother, father, and dog – Bubbles – that farts can be lethal. I’m not quite sure that this prepared me with the frightening experience of being shut in a classroom with 20-odd boys all equipped with an arsenal of farts.

It’s particularly bad now that the weather is so awful. The close to zero temperatures mean that it is impractical to leave windows open, and so the stench of farts saturates the air instead of flowing out and away. Try teaching someone the difference between adjectives and adverbs with that pong! Eeeew.

Of course, we are also at that age when farting is absolutely hilarious (let’s be honest, when is it not?) and every Joe, Bob, and Harry must comment when it occurs. There is a constant tussle as to who sits next to who and when; largely based on whose bottom is humming away the National Anthem on any given day. I think these boys are a far cry off being embarrassed about “letting one rip” in front prospective or actual partners!

It’s exhausting and smelly and quite gross. But that’s the life of  a teacher I guess – breathe through your mouth, embrace the open windows, and try to ignore the sounds!

Sorry boys, your secret is out.